TechnicalTrainer.org

I’m sorry, but I am sick and tired of hearing that phrase, “I’m sorry.” Most of the time I hear it, I want to scream. In large part because it has become meaningless. The person at the fast-food drive-up window is not sorry for leaving my food out of the bag or putting the wrong food in there. The airline counter person is not sorry my flight is delayed. In fact, I find it really hard to find someone who really is sorry.

Sorrow, at least in my book, implies a commitment to change, or at the very least attempt change. Sorrow is also a state of mind that lasts longer than the time it takes to say the words, “I’m sorry.” None of the people who have said that they were sorry ever really intended for me to think that they intended to change their behavior. After all, the fast-food people don’t really change their behavior. And, the poor airline counter person isn’t responsible for the flight’s delay. In fact, I truly feel sorrow for them. They have been “trained” by some corporate program that undoubtedly tied the training to business results that saying “I’m sorry” improved X by Y%, and the approximate ROI on that training was Z%. (Note: I’m sorry I wasn’t able to provide real numbers, but they were withheld for proprietary business concerns.)

SO! Stop saying it! What you really mean is that you apologize for the error. I can accept apologies. Just thinking about them makes me all warm and fuzzy. In fact, try to use it next time. Better yet, apologize for the actual crime instead of using generic words. For example, I apologize for you having to park your car, and come into the restaurant to correct an error I should have caught before giving you your food. Or, I apologize on behalf of the airline, who in an attempt to satisfy your need for low-cost air travel, has reduced costs by cutting flights, crews, and other amenities; while not fully explaining the consequences to you. And, dear airline traveler, you should be the one who is sorry for blaming the airline’s performance on me as a lowly front-line worker.

So, dear reader, I apologize for being sorry. I’d even be sorry if I could work up some guilt-free emotional angst. I’d write more, but I have to circle back through the drive-through to get my fries they left out. I am sure they are sorry!